Sunday, June 19, 2011

I am SOOOO not happy.

Tonight I let Mike take my car to jail, and Dan let me take his car over to the park to practice my couch to 5 K stuff. The time passed uneventfully enough and I went back to the car to unlock it and go to run a few errands. When I left the car I remembered to make sure every door was locked, as I had my purse inside. When I got the key out to leave, I proceeded to unlock the car...or so I thought. The key turned, but the dang thing wouldn't unlock. Tried the other door- same thing.


OK. I call Dan up on the phone and asked which of the keys on his ring was the "unlocker" key. He said " Mom, there is none. I never lock my car." I said,"Well I did and now I need to get in." MOM,
WHY DID YOU LOCK THE CAR??!!!! 'Cause Dan, My purse is in it, and besides, this IS NW Indiana.... "@#$#% !!!!!! Mom, the car doesn't' unlock! Now you'll have to open the trunk, crawl in it and push down the back seat. Then you crawl through and unlock it." Great.

So I open the trunk and crawled in, taking a careful look around for smart aleck teenage boys that might think it's funny to shut the lid and lock me in. I pushed the seat forward and it was loose, EXCEPT the left corner and it wouldn't budge. I pushed and I kicked, but that sucker was tight as a tick on a dog's ear. Meanwhile, there were several cars coming and going watching this large, 54 year-old grandma climbing into a car trunk and thrashing around. Do you think one stopped to asked what the heck I was doing? Not so, Grasshopper. I had quite a time getting back out, as my legs had seized up on me because of my running. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
I thought that it was a good thing I wasn't laying in the road with a broken hip or something cause at the rate this whole thing was going, nobody'd stop long enough to kick me to the curb.
Doggone it, there wasn't even a Boy Scout for miles as far as I could tell.

OK. So I called Dan to come and help a sistah out. He said, "MOM! @#$%&*$@#!!! I can't come now! The White Sox are on! "Dan, please! I can't get this thing open..." (More loud cursing heard). OK, I'll be there! Meanwhile this short, rotund guy with a baseball cap poorly covering his bald spot stood a few cars away watching the whole thing. JUST STANDING THERE!!! I wanted to kindly KNOCK HIM INTO NEXT WEEK, but I held my piece. From the way he looked, I knew his name had to be Peanut or Slim or Bubba. ( Ok, I know that comment wasn't nice, and yes, my Mama raised me better than that.)
Dan drives up with then roared away. Not a word was said.

Well, I went on to the grocery store and as I got out, you can BET I went to each door and made sure they were ALL unlocked.

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