I'm going to speak to you about something that has seriously affected our happy family. Addiction. There. I said it. If you've been following our life story, you'll remember that Pip was confronted with her cough syrup addiction and she finally consented to go to rehab. Woot! After a long drive courtesy of Peg and her 1965 Rambler, she arrived at The Tom Cruise Scientology Cloistered Commune "You can't get no cough syrup here, Boo-Boo" Rehab Center in Idaho the last week of November. The drive there was harrowing to say the least due to the fact that Peg drove all the way there on a mini spare tire that prohibits driving over 35MPH due to safety factors. Because she's a soft touch (Read: Enabler) , Peg let Pip partake of her cough syrup of choice- Delsym- the entire trip. She figured it wouldn't hurt since if Pip changed her mind she couldn't jump out of the car anyway. The Rambler's door had been wired shut since 1979 when it was hit from behind by an Allis Chalmers tractor doing 25 MPH in a church parking lot. The Allis and it's 6-year-old driver sustained no injuries. It was reported that the six year old was trying to ditch Sunday school when the accident happened. It was also reported that the Allis Chalmers was parked at the church by the pastor who used it to plow up his garden on the church lot. No charges were filed.
Anyhoo. The trip would have been very hard on Pip without the cough syrup. And not because of her addiction, either. It seems that when Peg went to Tahiti for her hula lessons, she acquired a taste for cheap cigars. What with the smoke from the cigars and the thin air during the climb over the Rocky Mountains, Pip woulda horked up a lung at some point. Instead, she laid in the back seat (in the fetal position) mumbling unintelligibly and popping Ricolas all the while. The Ricolas were a little anesthesia to help Pip cope with Peg's singing along with the eight track. While the sisters love each other alot, it was a bit much to put up with Peg's choice of music. Since she was a small child, she always had a heart for Zimbabwean Harp and Drums Corps music. That, and the fact that Peg had a "tin-ear" and couldn't sing on key for nothing. Of course, (being the loving family that we are) we never told Peg that she sang out of tune. Guess we should have just up and told her but hindsight's 20/20. Peg insisted on an expensive vocal coach for years which my Mom happily paid for (Poor mama was clueless, being deaf as a post). Peg felt she had a career as an opera singer when she got outa high school. But when she graduated, she took a job at the Tastee Freeze in town and started living the fast life.
During the trip, Sis kept in touch with the girls via cell phone. It was a bit coincidental that she had just taken a job as a researcher for Verizon. Every 20 minutes she'd call and say "Can you hear me now"?.
Unfortunately, Peg had Sprint for her cell carrier and anything outside of Poughkeepsie comes through garbled.
God bless her, Barb dipped into her jar which had the money she'd been saving to buy a new Harley (one with all the bells and whistles) and had given them money for gas and eats for their trip. Because Peg wanted to make good time getting there, they mainly ate at drive thru's.
They tended to frequent the White Castle Restaurants that were adjoined to Gas stations. There, they could get gas AND get gas. White Castle was Pip's favorite food joint. Peg- being the kind person she is- humored her.
The kind staff at the Cracker Barrel had all chipped in and bought a box of Moon Pies for the trip. They knew what a hard road this rehab stint was going to be and wanted to communicate their love. They even sent a to go order of luscious pinto beans. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.....
The girls were supposed to meet up along the way with Char for supper one night. Char was flying into Minot for the World Finals of Greased Pig Wrestling. Now this was THE competition that all GPW's (greased pig wrestlers) longed to qualify for. Char had only taken up this hobby in July of '08 when she saw it as the Main Event in the grandstand at the County Fair. It was love at first sight, and she hasn't looked back since. Luckily, Char, being the quick study that she is, took to GPW like a duck to water. She was able to qualify for the '09 Finals and Minot had quickly become a reality.
They were able to meet up at a Weeny Joint close to the South Side American Legion, where the GPW Finals were being held. This was the first real "sit down" meal of the trip. Peg and Char enjoyed a bit of conversation, while Pip slipped out to the 7-Eleven on the next block for a new bottle of cough syrup and a bag of Ricolas.
In a few minutes she was back, but ticked off in a big way. Seems all the 7-Eleven had was Pediacare Cough and Cold and Halls Honey and Lemon cough drops. She said she had to buy 2 of each because otherwise she wouldn't even get a good buzz going.
After they left Char in Minot, they continued on their way. With only one other major stop to try to get tire chains put on to help manage with the snow in the mountains, they arrived in one piece at the Tom Cruise Scientology Cloistered Commune "You can't get no cough syrup here, boo-boo" Rehab Center in lovely Idaho. By this time, Peg and Pip had pretty much had enough of each other. Peg let Pip outa the car, opened the trunk and threw her suitcase at her. With that, she peeled out (as much as you can on snow, anyway), and headed for the nearest Tastee Freeze located 20 miles down the road in Pocatello. She was ready then to Par-Tay! (You know those Tastee Freeze folks live on the wild side, even in Pocatello.)
We got a phone call from Pip when she arrived. Said she was ready to make a clean start, but was devastated that Tom Cruise was not there to welcome her. Evidently the Center is not run by Tom Cruise, he just pays the bills. Pip said that if she'd have known that, she'd have picked somewhere in the Caribbean with European guys running around the beach in Speedos to dry out. Sheesh, Pip. Cry me a river...........
During the trip, Sis kept in touch with the girls via cell phone. It was a bit coincidental that she had just taken a job as a researcher for Verizon. Every 20 minutes she'd call and say "Can you hear me now"?.
Unfortunately, Peg had Sprint for her cell carrier and anything outside of Poughkeepsie comes through garbled.
God bless her, Barb dipped into her jar which had the money she'd been saving to buy a new Harley (one with all the bells and whistles) and had given them money for gas and eats for their trip. Because Peg wanted to make good time getting there, they mainly ate at drive thru's.
They tended to frequent the White Castle Restaurants that were adjoined to Gas stations. There, they could get gas AND get gas. White Castle was Pip's favorite food joint. Peg- being the kind person she is- humored her.
The kind staff at the Cracker Barrel had all chipped in and bought a box of Moon Pies for the trip. They knew what a hard road this rehab stint was going to be and wanted to communicate their love. They even sent a to go order of luscious pinto beans. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.....
The girls were supposed to meet up along the way with Char for supper one night. Char was flying into Minot for the World Finals of Greased Pig Wrestling. Now this was THE competition that all GPW's (greased pig wrestlers) longed to qualify for. Char had only taken up this hobby in July of '08 when she saw it as the Main Event in the grandstand at the County Fair. It was love at first sight, and she hasn't looked back since. Luckily, Char, being the quick study that she is, took to GPW like a duck to water. She was able to qualify for the '09 Finals and Minot had quickly become a reality.
They were able to meet up at a Weeny Joint close to the South Side American Legion, where the GPW Finals were being held. This was the first real "sit down" meal of the trip. Peg and Char enjoyed a bit of conversation, while Pip slipped out to the 7-Eleven on the next block for a new bottle of cough syrup and a bag of Ricolas.
In a few minutes she was back, but ticked off in a big way. Seems all the 7-Eleven had was Pediacare Cough and Cold and Halls Honey and Lemon cough drops. She said she had to buy 2 of each because otherwise she wouldn't even get a good buzz going.
After they left Char in Minot, they continued on their way. With only one other major stop to try to get tire chains put on to help manage with the snow in the mountains, they arrived in one piece at the Tom Cruise Scientology Cloistered Commune "You can't get no cough syrup here, boo-boo" Rehab Center in lovely Idaho. By this time, Peg and Pip had pretty much had enough of each other. Peg let Pip outa the car, opened the trunk and threw her suitcase at her. With that, she peeled out (as much as you can on snow, anyway), and headed for the nearest Tastee Freeze located 20 miles down the road in Pocatello. She was ready then to Par-Tay! (You know those Tastee Freeze folks live on the wild side, even in Pocatello.)
We got a phone call from Pip when she arrived. Said she was ready to make a clean start, but was devastated that Tom Cruise was not there to welcome her. Evidently the Center is not run by Tom Cruise, he just pays the bills. Pip said that if she'd have known that, she'd have picked somewhere in the Caribbean with European guys running around the beach in Speedos to dry out. Sheesh, Pip. Cry me a river...........
No comments:
Post a Comment